Honesty? Does A Memoir Mean We Lose Friends and Alienate People?

For all the "openness" in our society everyone wears masks.  We take them off in the writer's group and I believe the authenticity is why the group is so vital for all of us.  My fellow members revelations draw me to their stories.  Who can't relate to the abandonment, pain, and hurt or the triumph and joy when we transcend it?  So, the challenge we face is whether the commitment to honesty, for me part of the purpose in writing the book, can be reconciled with the cost of telling the truth, especially when it includes the lives and feelings of others.  

 

We don't want to hurt people we care about and we don't want to be rejected either.  Could our books mean we will lose friends and alienate people, maybe even cause us professional losses?  I love and respect my colleagues but some are extremely conservative and I fear they will judge me.  I would have avoided the difficult decisions I had to make if I could have!  Life doesn’t fit into neat packages or always allow us to create socially laudable outcomes.  

 

What we reveal in memoirs, for all of the warts and ugliness, is the beauty and honor that comes when we face our shadow selves and our humanity. Our memoirs are about how we did the best we could at the time and they reveal what was powerful and important in our growth and our lives.

Posted by Molly Mahoney Matthews

Comments

[petersteel]

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[Betty Robinson]

Have you read "The Help"? It really addresses the issues you raise toward the middle and through to the end of the book. Plus, it's a WONDERFUL book on any number of other levels. Must read! Love